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Grandparents and Grandfamilies

Grandparents and Grandfamilies

I have just spent some time in North Carolina with our 21 month old and 4 ½ year old granddaughters. My daughter and her husband had an opportunity to go on a vacation and we offered to help care for Lila and Linnea while they were gone.

Dave and I have three grown daughters. Our middle daughter has two daughters. We’ve done this before. It’s like riding a bike, right?

It was wonderful to spend a chunk of time with the girls- over two weeks. We got them up, helped them get dressed, fed them, played with them, settled them for naps, read them books, bathed them, and tucked them in. We showered lots of love on them and received lots of love return – hugs and sloppy kisses in abundance.

We also wiped bottoms, dried tears, applied band aids, received a good many scowls and heard “No!” more times than I can count. Negotiations were on-going and intense, reminding me of my days in labor management.

You should know that we were not alone. The other grandma was there as well as an aunt. We were able to share the care of the girls. Even so, at almost two and almost 5, there is an abundance of energy. Always. If they are awake, they are moving, talking, prodding, and needing something. Outings are planned around the naps. Naps are key to everyone’s good attitude.

This time with our granddaughters made me think about the grandparents who are in the position of parenting their grandchildren. The day in and day out responsibility for active little ones can be daunting. At a time when they are retiring or thinking of retiring, many grandparents find they must keep working because there are more mouths to feed, clothes to buy for growing children, school supplies to purchase, and educations to consider. The ability to put your feet up at the end of the day is gone. There is homework to oversee, baths to be run, lunches to pack. In addition to this round-the-clock care for grandchildren, add the legal and emotional quagmire of caring for your children’s children.

The River Center and The Grapevine both are family and community resource centers. Together we have facilitated a group for grandparents who are parenting their grandchildren since 2015. The grandparents in this group have supported each other, learned about resources available to support their families, and been a significant voice for other families facing similar challenges.

In 2017 testimony from several of these local grandparents resulted in new legislation. HB 629 established grandparents as preference for guardianship in cases of parent’s substance misuse and is the first of its kind in the nation. SB 148 created a commission to study the impact of the opioid crisis on grandparents. They have met with Senator Hassan to tell their stories and answer her questions in preparation for her work on the national level.  Over the past year they have supported the creation of a similar group for grandparents in Keene.

In New Hampshire there are well over 10,000 grandparents parenting their grandchildren. They love their families and will do whatever it takes to care for their grandchildren.

The men and women who take on the challenge of raising their grandchildren have my deepest respect. They are doing whatever it takes to provide love, stability and a nurturing environment for the next generation. They are brave and determined. Thank you for being willing and able. You are heroes.

Check out Families, Forests, and Farms- weekly fun field trips all over our region. For details go to www.rivercenter.us or give us a call at 924-6800.

Margaret Nelson

Executive Director

The River Center Family and Community Resource Center

 

 

 

 

What Is The River Center?

What Is The River Center?

People ask, “What is The River Center?”
Here’s my answer:

The River Center is about playtime with parents and their little ones. Visiting local farms with other families. Parents of teens and tweens brainstorming creative solutions to smooth out strained relationships. New parents facing sleepless nights and the challenges of caring for newborns. Attending a film or listening to a author/speaker  on parenting issues. Getting answers to questions every parent faces. Knowing that you are not alone.

The River Center is a place to go to get a tax return completed by IRS certified volunteers. A place to meet with a money coach to demystify household finances and make a plan to reduce debt.

It is a place to go when you don’t know where else to turn: facing eviction; applying for food assistance; seeking help for a neighbor.

The River Center is a family and community resource center- a place where individuals and families can get connected with services and programs that they need to thrive. The River Center is here for you, your family, your neighbors, your co-workers, our community.

Consider us during the statewide 24 hours of giving event, NH Gives so that we may continue to support individuals and families with our programs. Strong families = strong communities!

NH Gives Banner 2019

New Shoes and Inspiration

New Shoes and Inspiration

I recently splurged on some new shoes. Why? you may ask. I went on a Big Trip. I was in Washington DC the first week of May for a conference of the National Family Support Network. And, of course, I needed new shoes- shoes I could walk in, talk in, and think big thoughts. Some of you know what I am talking about.

Anyway, new shoes aside, the gathering of family resource center networks from across the country was inspiring. It would seem that supporting families is universal. Families in California and Maine, Florida and Wisconsin need support. We share a core vision of ensuring that every family has what they need to thrive and that children can grow in a stable and nurturing environment.

What we do is surround families with what are known as the five protective factors for strong families:

  1. enhancing parental resilience; 
  2. connecting families with concrete supports in times of need;
  3. facilitating knowledge of parenting and child development
  4. supporting healthy social and emotional development in children; and
  5. creating social connections.

Strong families make for strong communities and ultimately a stronger world for us all.

Family resource centers provide this support through parent education and support: parenting classes, support groups, play groups for parents and young children, baby groups. Through these groups and interactions new friendships development and social connections result. Intensive in-home support for families is provided, supporting pregnant women, infants, and the family through regular visits. Connecting families with food, clothing, housing, employment, counseling, transportation, or whatever the need is another important role of the family resource center.

How we do this support differs from state to state, community to community. In Kentucky, there are 854 family resource centers located in the schools. In Vermont they are called Parent Child Centers. In New Jersey they are called Family Success Centers. Some family resource centers include childcare programs, food pantries, thrift shops and English as a second language. Some are funded with state or federal dollars, others are not (New Hampshire is not). All family resource centers reflect their communities. In New Hampshire we have a thirteen family resource centers ranging from self-standing nonprofits (like The River Center and The Grapevine) to the Family Connections Center located in the state prison, to Whole Village Family Resource Center in Plymouth that houses multiple nonprofits that support families.

I attended this convening in my role as President of the Board of Family Support New Hampshire, the coalition of family resource centers and family support programs of New Hampshire. I was encouraged to meet women and men from across the country who are engaged in supporting families through family resource centers. I came away encouraged by their enthusiasm, passion, and thoughtful leadership. We are convinced that families need support to thrive. Children don’t come with instructions. Parenting is a tough job and we can’t do it alone. Family resource centers are here to help.

So, remember that The River Center is a family and community resource center. Right here in your community. We offer parenting classes like the Challenge of Teens and Tweens with Bonnie Harris. We have a parent group that meets in Jaffrey on Friday mornings for parents with young children. Thursday mornings Families, Forests, and Farms, is a fun group for parents and children exploring our community. Our home visitors support families with young children through regular in-home visits. We have a Safe Sitter babysitting class coming up on June 1 for 11-14 year olds. And then there is money coaching and help with your taxes. And don’t forget that we are here to help connect you with community resources by calling 924-6800, walk in at 9 Vose Farm Rd, Suite 115, or go to www.rivercenter.us for our on-line Factbook resource guide to services in the Eastern Monadnock Region.

Strong families make strong communities which result in a better world for all of us. Let us know how we can support your family.

Margaret Nelson
Executive Director
The River Center Family and Community Resource Center
mnelson@rivercenter.us

Babies on the Brain

Babies on the Brain

Baby N

Babies- They are so cute! They can be so frustrating! They coo- they cry and cry and cry.

Wouldn’t it be nice if every expectant family had all the support and resources they needed to get their new family off to a great start?

When a baby is on the way there are many things to do to prepare and many challenges to face once the baby is born. Some expectant families are surrounded by supportive family and friends and are accessing all the resources they need. Some can benefit from regular home visits from a professional family support home visitor. These in-home visits are a highly effective way to assist and encourage families through all the challenges they face during pregnancy and in the baby’s first years. The home visitor and family will address many issues: Have they set up regular pre-natal medical visits? What are the transportation needs? Do they have health insurance? Stable housing? What about work? Is the father of the baby involved? Are their special needs that need consideration? The home visitor works with each family to ensure that they have what they need for a healthy and positive start to their family.

The River Center Family and Community Resource Center has provided this family support through home visits for close to eighteen years. Over two years ago, Monadnock United Way, through the Impact Monadnock initiative, invited The River Center, The Grapevine Family and Community Resource Center, Healthy Starts at HCS Home Health and Hospice, and Rise for baby and family to be part of a home visiting collaborative as a pilot project. All four of our organizations already supported families through regular in-home visits for parents, infants and young children. Under the guidance of Monadnock United Way staff, we talked about our desire that more families be supported through our incredible in-home family support programs. Together we identified the need for better communication between our programs, marketing, professional development for our staff, and, of course, funding to keep our programs running.

Today, the collaborative is known as the Monadnock Home Visiting Alliance and receives funding from the Monadnock United Way. We have developed specific goals and strategies to expand our reach to more families with high quality intensive home visiting throughout the Monadnock Region. Our home visitors are meeting together regularly for professional development and networking opportunities. Thanks to a grant from the New Hampshire Charitable Foundation, we have hired an Outreach Coordinator to spread the word about all our in-home family support programs. We have seen many of our goals achieved and are optimistic that more families will benefit from this intensive support.

What are some of the results of families supported through regular in-home visits? A young mom told a friend that everything she has learned about being a mom she learned from her home visitor. Through developmental screenings done in the home, a toddler is identified as needing early intervention with speech therapist. A mom who has lost a child is encouraged through the pregnancy and birth of a second child. A dad who is raising his young children knows he has someone he can call who is there to help him connect with services he needs to be successful.

Taking care of a baby is hard work. It’s stressful at times. If other aspects of life are also stressful and if there is little support for the mom and dad, it can be particularly rough. Family support home visitors partner with the parents to identify needs and make connections with the knowledge, resources, and support they need to create a healthy positive start for their family. The Monadnock Home Visiting Alliance is a way for The River Center, The Grapevine, Heathy Starts at HCS, and Rise for baby and family to reach more families. For more information, please contact me at mnelson@rivercenter.us or 924-6800.

The River Center supports parents and families in a number of ways. Be sure to join us for the free showing of the film Brainious followed by a panel discussion on Tuesday, May 7, 6:30-8:00 at the Peterborough Community Theatre. The film is about the importance of relationships for brain development. We are thankful for Hutter Construction for sponsoring the showing of this film.

Brainious Teaser

Take a sneak peek at Brainious and then RSVP to our special screening of it with panel discussion on May 7, 6:30 pm at the Peterborough Community Theatre. This is a must-see film if you have or work with children! https://www.facebook.com/events/504747286728321/?ti=ia

Posted by The River Center on Monday, April 22, 2019

Saving Makes A Difference

Saving Makes A Difference

How much money do you have in the bank? Do you have a rainy day fund? Money saved for retirement? A new car fund? A home repair fund? Education fund? Yikes!

I just lost you didn’t I? Did your stomach start to tie up in knots?

An individual who has her taxes done through The River Center’s free tax preparation program told us how saving money helped her. She was able to save the equivalent of several months’ wages due to a surprise gift. She decided that she would treat herself spending 10% of this gift and save the rest. Because now she has a financial buffer, she was able to make some life decisions that felt too risky before. She left her job and found another job she enjoys. She made some relationship decisions. She is happy and feels more in control of her life.
Not having any money in the bank for ‘just in case’ leaves us vulnerable. We don’t have a fall back in case something happens.

I googled ‘Saving Money’. There are 7 Ways, 8 Simple Ways, 35 Realistic Ways, 100 Great Ways, etc. to save money. There is the Secret to Saving Money. Take a look sometime. Everyone is weighing in on how to save money. We understand we should save, but we have difficulty putting it into practice.

Did you know that The River Center offers money coaching? A team of trained volunteers are ready and able to help anyone demystify their finances. Because truly, many times our finances are mysterious. Money comes, money goes. We aren’t exactly sure where it went, but our bank accounts tell us it’s gone.

Why do people come for money coaching at The River Center? They come because they have maxed out their credit card debt and need help figuring out how to pay them down. They come because they would like to buy a house and want a plan to make it happen. They come because they are graduating from high school and want to avoid excessive education debt or fund a gap year. A couple with six figure income needs help organizing the chaos of their finances which has resulted in late fees and bill collectors.

A newly single parent is always running out of money before the end of the month. Income is not enough to cover basic expenses for their family. We connect them to assistance programs to supplement their family needs until they can stabilize their life and increase income.
Our money coaches are here to help. Anyone, any income, any need. They are at The River Center for drop-ins every Wednesday from 12:30-2:00 or appointments can be made anytime by calling 924-6800 or info@rivercenter.us.

Our free tax preparation program for low and moderate income households is in full swing until April 13. Appointments can be made by calling 924-6800 If you or someone you know might qualify for this program, have them give a call. Our IRS certified volunteer preparers are trained to make sure that tax payers take full benefit of earned income, child, and educational tax credits. Every tax payer is encouraged to split their refund to save a portion for those rainy days.

Questions? Interested in meeting with a money coach? Give us a call at 924-6800.

Margaret Nelson
Executive Director
The River Center Family and Community Resource Center
mnelson@rivercenter.us

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